What is a Safety Plan?
Safety Plans are guides personalized to the survivor’s unique set of circumstances made with the goal to reduce risks when experiencing abuse. Whether not ready to leave, preparing, or having left, a Safety Plan is designed to give clear instructions of what to do where survivors need that guidance most.
It’s helpful to remember that these plans needs to be revised and changed as situations change, and that’s okay. That’s why having an advocate on your side is an invaluable resource when things have become unpredictable. We will help you make a safety plan that’s right for you, working with what you value. Remember: our services are Free, Confidential and Voluntary.
What goes into Safety Plans?
📋 Preparing to take action
Have ready an escape bag. Include clothes; medications; keys; cash; credit cards; important documents (for you and your children) like birth certificates, copies of bills, medical records, and social security cards; and your children’s favorite toys. If it’s discovered, call it a “hurricane bag” or “fire bag.”
Prepare your support network. Keep your support network in the loop. Let them know how to respond if your abuser contacts them searching for you.
Prepare an excuse. Create several plausible reasons for leaving the house at unusual times or for existing situations that might become dangerous. Be prepared to use them in case you need to get away quickly.
📲 Program important numbers into your phone
Namely, 911! Also, consider adding our 24/7 hotline number 800-456-1172, as well as SAFE friends and supporters who are aware of your situation. iPhone and Android phones call emergency services by pressing the volume/power buttons five times. Please note that depending on the type of phone you have, you may have to disable alarm sounds or specify the emergency service.
📍 Consider your surroundings
If you need to remain in the living space where abuse is happening, avoid the following areas during escalations: kitchen, bathroom, and the garage. There are potentials for hard surfaces and weapons.
Plan a destination. If you’re not going to stay with someone you know, call us to help with housing (800) 456-1172.
Plan a route. Learn routes and commit them to memory. Then plan a backup route. If you are driving, have a tank of gas filled at all times. If you rely on public transportation, know the routes and departure times. Many public transportation systems have mobile apps that update their schedules and arrival times.
Become familiar with safe places near you.
Hide a car key and cash in places where they will absolutely not be found.
If possible and necessary, use different stores and frequent different social spots.
🧑🧒🧒 Thinking ahead about kids and pets
Teach your children when, how, and who to contact during an emergency. This can include trusted friends, family members, neighbors, local service providers, and more. If possible, instruct them ahead of time to leave the home if situations begin to escalate and establish where they can go.
Come up with a code word for when to leave the house in an emergency and make sure they know not to tell others what the secret word means. Identify a room in the house that they can go to when they are afraid, and something calming they can focus on for comfort. Instruct them to stay out of areas containing items that could be used to harm them, including kitchens and bathrooms. Teach them that they should NOT try to intervene in moments of violence, even though they may want to protect their parents. Plan for what you will do if your children tell your partner of your plan, and remember never to blame them for their responses to your partner’s abusive behavior.
Take steps to prove ownership of your pet. If possible, avoid leaving pets alone with an abusive partner. If your pet is microchipped, make sure your abusive partner is not listed as a contact. If you’re planning to leave, talk to friends, family, or your veterinarian about temporary care for your pet if necessary. If that’s not an option, search for services that assist domestic violence survivors with safekeeping for their pets, or contact your local domestic violence shelter or animal shelter directly.
🔒 Protecting yourself online and offline
Use “incognito” mode on your browser (consider using Brave for enhanced security), and delete your existing browser sessions. Change your passwords ASAP, especially on any accounts which might be used to identify you or shared accounts. Make these passwords strong and unique. Disconnect yourself from any “smart home” devices. Lock down your social media, streaming or other entertainment profiles; delete or pause them.
Take all of your and your children’s original documents with you: birth certificates, social security cards, passports, driver licenses, or other vital legal documents. Store copies or those originals with a trusted ally, such as a friend or family member, and upload copies to a secure online folder.
There are apps which can be helpful for you in keeping a “paper trail” of your locations and interactions, such as Time Stamp and Time Mark. There are risks associated with location tracking; check your belongings, tech, wearables and vehicles for any kind of GPS tracking whether it’s by software or an attached device.
⌛ After leaving the abuser
Change your locks and phone number if possible. If possible, change your work hours and the route you take to get there.
Alert school authorities of the situation. If there is a protection order in place, provide a copy to the school. Designate who is and is not allowed to pick up your children from school. If possible, change the route taken to transport children to school; if necessary, consider changing your children’s schools.
If you have a protection order, keep a certified copy of it with you at all times, and inform friends, neighbors, and employers that you have a protection order in effect. If you move to a new state, register your protection order with the courts in your new state.
Consider renting a post office box or using a trusted friend’s address for your mail (remember that addresses are used for restraining orders and police reports — be careful who you give your address and phone number to). Your state may have an address confidentiality program to protect your privacy. Contact an advocate to see if your state has this program.
Reschedule appointments that your partner might be aware of.
Alert neighbors and work colleagues about how and when to seek help if they feel you may be in danger (if you feel comfortable doing so). Be clear about who you do or do not want them to contact, including law enforcement.
Tell people who take care of your children (if you are comfortable doing so) or transport them to/from school and activities. Explain your situation and provide them with a copy of your restraining order if you have one.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline has an interactive tool to help you create an easily printable safety plan to get started.